anaisninja: me and bitsy (Default)
[personal profile] anaisninja
Driving over the bridge this morning, head full of half-thoughts and not-quite voices, including Captain Howdy. Usually he rides shotgun when we're on the bridge.

I tell myself something to the effect that he's the voice I hear over all others. He says something to the effect 'Keep telling yourself that, when't the last time we've had a decent talk?' 'You're not wrong,' I shrug. 'You're the one that wanted to be deliberately invoked vs randomly involved though.' 'I've gotten over myself about that one.' He concedes. That I did not expect. Usually I am the one who has to get over myself. It's a good feel when it finally happens. 'How that feels? You're not wrong.'

There's a vehicle ahead of us that's got a decal on the back window, one of those fucking 60s throwback designs that reads 'love'. I don't even think, my gut reaction is invariably 'fuck that'.

'There's lots of things you love.' C. points out. 'Yeah well, but those are actual specific things that I love. The concept itself is so abstract that it's practically meaningless when it's applied with such a broad brush. It's like 'peace'. It's a nice concept, but wtf does it actually mean?'

'Fuck that. Peace is bloody nonsense as a concept, as far as you people think of it. Life itself is a constant state of change and conflict, because that's how it works. That's how you know you're alive. People may as well have a sticker that reads 'death', because your idea of peace is the same thing. Peace doesn't react or respond. It doesn't invent or evolve, it doesn't do anything. The idea of it as a perpetual state of being is nonsense. That's not how the universe even works.'

'There's a Buddhist story I remember from a while back that says peace lives in the place between the in-breath and the out-breath. It's not somewhere you can stay for a long amount of time, more of a transient state.'

'Well, that's more like it. That sounds just about right.'

I'm still kind of snickering about that one, substituting the word 'death' for 'peace' every time I see it printed on something.

Thinking about things further: 'science' could possibly be another of those general terms with little actual meaning, but then again, science is not an actual concrete thing, it's a process. Science is more of a verb than a noun when I think about it. It's not impossible to love the process.

Anyway: hummingbirds in the garden at the sanctuary today. Even being in Florida, it's quite rare to see them. My guess is they're hanging in here for the night to fuel up so they can ride on the tail of whatever storm front is coming through.

Still need to write about Bitsy things. There's a creature that's going to coordinate world building and recruiting, called an orpheus. At first I thought that was the creature's name, but in fact it is the proper name of the actual species. Might look something like a platypus. Not sure yet. I'll find out.
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