anaisninja: me and bitsy (Default)
[personal profile] anaisninja
Fucking exhausted.

All week fucking exhausted. Blindsided with depression and tired af. Thursday night I hit the bed at motherfucking seven pm, because tired. I did wake up around 9:30, poked around on the interwebs for an hour or so, then back to bed with me.

Did wake up feeling pretty good. Got a lot done. Staff meeting went better than expected, which was a relief. J said she always had feelings of dread before a meeting, I agreed it was a thing for me too. Got some things out in the open that will make it harder for those prone to inertia to hold the rest of us back.

We've got two new people starting in a couple of weeks, which is great. Ch is scaling back to one day a week, a goddamn shame. Wondering if she even applied for the FWRA scholarship now.

Wish DP knew something about wildlife medicine, that way he could call them out on their low effort bullshit. So goddamn frustrating to have them justify the lack of action towards stepping up their game.

Maybe putting together the bird keeper manual will prod them into developing a similar guide for hospital. Not holding my breath on it though.

DG showed me how to use the sawsall, borrowing that from work for something I need to do: finish up the motherfucking mews. Ask about what kind of paint inside/outside. Also touch base with Terry about stuff, in particular the possibility of transfer for Tyr.

Parts of it I feel good about. Parts of it not so much. I really want to have the experience of starting at ground zero from trapping through training. Although it might not be a bad thing to have an experienced bird if my energy level is fuxx0red the way it's been lately.

I see the doc and gyno next Wednesday, see what my test results are all about, also ask about HRT. Christ it's weird to think about it. I don't feel like I'm of some kind of age, but I am cool with being over the slave to biology thing.

Okay signing out. Try to keep the gun out of my mouth for the rest of the month. So far so good.
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anaisninja

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