Shit's getting real at the bird sanctuary.

Swapping birds with other rescues, moving resident birds into pens with the highest perches and the highest ground, pitching out any releasables that are ready to gtfo. Emptying as many pens as possible. Thursday is apparently D day for who goes where in case of evacuation.

Hospital admin was talking to the director at another rescue. Her advice: take who you love.

Trying to figure out who can take what residents, worse comes to worse. We're not going to be able to take everyone.

Feels cold man


The house where I live is in zone E for hurricanes. Generally this means we're in an area that will be the last called to evacuate in the event of a major hurricane. Also I'm on the second floor. As far as Florida goes, this is about as high ground as I'm able to get.

The sanctuary is in zone A.

Figures the minute I finished my goddamn mews we'd get hit. But my dad was thinking about hurricanes the entire time when he built it, so I guess that's going to get put to the test.

I wish Creepy Craig didn't have the gazebo, the spare room, and both garages packed full of his shit, I could bring more than a few birds home. But I do have a mews and a freezer full of rabbit and squirrel.

Gatsby is a lucky sonofabitch.

Finally got to talk to the doc about my goddamn CT scan results. Good news, there's nothing terribly interesting going on with my liver or girlybits.
Not so good news, something's amiss on my lower GI, so have to find a specialist for to do a colonoscopy. This isn't a huge surprise given that I had problems here back in 2003.

I was low-key stressed about the possible liver issue, now I'm zero stressed, just supremely annoyed at the prospect of the surgery prep, because it literally blows ass. At least they knock my dumb ass out before they start poking around up there with the alien probe.

"We don't want people to think that they can hide behind Robert E. Lee's name and his life for these senseless acts of violence that occurred on Saturday...If you want to put statues of General Lee or other Confederate people in museums, that makes good sense." ~ Robert E. Lee V

If even the great-great-grandkids of General Lee identify what happened in Charlottesville as a demonstration of hate and not a defense of heritage? It's high time to call out the haters.

If you've seen the Vice documentary, none of the demonstrators mentioned a thing about preserving Southern history, or why this monument was personally important to them. They had a lot to say about how far they traveled and how well-armed they were. They had more to say about the subhumanity of people who don't have white skin, people who aren't straight, Jews, Communists, etc. They came with loaded intentions and brought them to someone else's back yard, looking for an excuse to start shit.

This is not like having a debate about the role of the federal government or the interpretation of an amendment. It's not a matter of criticizing the motivations or logic of someone with a differing viewpoint. Nazis and white supremacists don't even view their opposition as human. There cannot be mutual respect because by their own definition, they refuse to acknowledge that someone different is worthy of respect. You cannot find common ground with someone who doesn't believe that you have the right to exist.

We have a resident roseate spoonbill at the sanctuary now. Wing too jacked up to fly, but an excellent appetite and sassy af. She scampers through the flight pen with the rest of the crew - two big white pelis, the oystercatcher, whatever gulls, terns, and ospreys are convalescing. She turns circles in the pond, swishes her spoony bill in the current when the faucet's turned on, pokes around the edges trying to figure out where the water's gone when it's shut off.

I saw her boop the sandwich tern's snoot. Walked up to Reuben while he was preening, tried to nibble his pointy little beak. What else would you call that? You can't bite someone with a spoony bill. She nibbles at Houdini the herring gull's toes when he wanders into her way. Probably she would boop him too if he sat still enough. Would she boop my snoot if I sat still? There's plenty snoot to boop for sure.

Trying to think of names that are badass and pink, and Julie suggested Princess Bubblegum. I like it. Dunno what kind of bird would be Marceline the Vampire Queen. Maybe the little female white peli? She has a bizarre habit of walking up to an osprey, picking it up in her pouch, and moving it out of her way. Poor osprey don't even know what's happened. XD The big male white pelican kind of acts like Ice King. Bubblegum isn't intimidated by him or anyone else. She's freaking adorable.

She's not on the birdwalk yet, still waiting for baby bird season to settle down so we can play musical habitats. I think the plan is for her to go in with the night herons, little blue, and snowy egret. Social dynamics are a bit touchy with the night herons playing house, probably Bubblegum is just the thing to shake it up enough so they get over themselves already. Maybe she'll boop everyone's snoots until they behave.

Chaos dial still cranked all the hell up to eleven.

We do have running water, which is fantastic and not to be taken for granted.

One of the ospreys bumrushed the hallway into the caracara pen for reasons unknown. Usually new things stress Armando out, but he was very chill about his new bumbershoot buddy. Trying to shoo the osprey back into his respective pen was freaking both of them out, so I said fine, you can have a playdate while I'm here. Which turned into lunch. Which turned into them hanging out all day by the pool.

The only time Armando started to chatter was when I managed to bamboozle the bumbershoot into stepping up on a branch so he could get an airplane ride back to his pen.

This is a thing, actually. Bumbershoots rarely wander over to their shower stall, but they can be coerced into stepping up on a branch for an airplane ride there. They will grip the branch firmly and flap their wings as hard as they can while I carry them over. I wish I was kidding.

98 F in the kitchen this morning. A/C unit is legit FUBAR, and we are at the mercy of LG. One of the board members brought in an industrial fan which is set up in the kitchen, and it is amazing. It's actually cooler inside than outside once we get the doors open.

New washer was supposed to be delivered yesterday, but they forgot to put it on the truck.

You read that right. They forgot to put their delivery item on their delivery truck, and attempted to deliver. That's some potato-tier service right there.

So this is what the work week looks like:

🎬🎥 COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU 🎥🎬

If you 😄 Liked😄 Dude, Where's My Water Pump' then you will 💖LOVE💖 Dude, Where's My Washer! Starring the scintillating staff and volunteers at SOS you already know and love to laugh at/with, don't forget to stay tuned for ❄ Dude Where's My A/C Part 2!! ❄

Brought to you by This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things productions.

Fucking exhausted.

All week fucking exhausted. Blindsided with depression and tired af. Thursday night I hit the bed at motherfucking seven pm, because tired. I did wake up around 9:30, poked around on the interwebs for an hour or so, then back to bed with me.

Did wake up feeling pretty good. Got a lot done. Staff meeting went better than expected, which was a relief. J said she always had feelings of dread before a meeting, I agreed it was a thing for me too. Got some things out in the open that will make it harder for those prone to inertia to hold the rest of us back.

We've got two new people starting in a couple of weeks, which is great. Ch is scaling back to one day a week, a goddamn shame. Wondering if she even applied for the FWRA scholarship now.

Wish DP knew something about wildlife medicine, that way he could call them out on their low effort bullshit. So goddamn frustrating to have them justify the lack of action towards stepping up their game.

Maybe putting together the bird keeper manual will prod them into developing a similar guide for hospital. Not holding my breath on it though.

DG showed me how to use the sawsall, borrowing that from work for something I need to do: finish up the motherfucking mews. Ask about what kind of paint inside/outside. Also touch base with Terry about stuff, in particular the possibility of transfer for Tyr.

Parts of it I feel good about. Parts of it not so much. I really want to have the experience of starting at ground zero from trapping through training. Although it might not be a bad thing to have an experienced bird if my energy level is fuxx0red the way it's been lately.

I see the doc and gyno next Wednesday, see what my test results are all about, also ask about HRT. Christ it's weird to think about it. I don't feel like I'm of some kind of age, but I am cool with being over the slave to biology thing.

Okay signing out. Try to keep the gun out of my mouth for the rest of the month. So far so good.

Hit up SharkCon this weekend with Bitsy, which was decent. Not as many shark-specific booths as I had anticipated, I always forget these kind of things have all kinds of vendors. Met a couple of the folks from the rehab near Tampa that we take in birds from on occasion, bought their calendar, which I need to bring in to work and show DP to see about doing something like that for SOS. Ran into one of our excellent volunteers who was out of college for the summer, nice to see her.

Mote was there of course, as well as Busch Gardens aka Sea World. Of course there were protesters out front of the fairgrounds, Jesus wept. What have y'all done for animals that doesn't involve complaining? Do any of them actually know about local marine life? I don't think keeping giant ass cetaceans in captivity is a good idea, but the organization does a lot more than orca shows. Wildlife rescue, education programs, rehabbing sick and injured animals. Unfortunately these activities don't fund themselves.

Watched a dissection of a spiny dogfish which was great, learned that Greenland sharks basically can live for hundreds of years if nothing kills them. Also heard a swim with the sharks guy talk about two of the lemon sharks he swims with who actively solicit him for boops. That schitt was hilarious. They seriously would seek him out and bug him until he booped their snoots. Fucking awesome.

Got a very cool book called Sharks of the Shallows, had it signed by the author and two of the photographers. All about sharks of Florida and surrounding areas, so relevant to our interests.

Chris was cooking for Mama Jan when I got home, went to hang out for a bit and ended up watching Netflix's new Castlevania series. Only 4 episodes but holy fuck, so so good. Dark as hell. Very pro-science, very anti-religion, not even subtle about it. Satanic sensibilities for sure.

Ugh so many chores I did not get to take care of today. Have to try catching up this week. Feeling my head slipping into July in not-good ways. At least I need a clean lair to mope about in while I wait for it to go away.

Summer at the beach condos means more families with small kids, which generally translates to extra laundry (especially bedding), greasy handprints on the windows and mirrors, along with stray cereal and crumbs all over the place. I swear some of the parents spray their kids' hands with WD-40 and tell 'em to have at the sliders.

Upside: I never need to buy paper towels and toilet paper, and I make out like a fucking bandit in the way of water and groceries. Anything I don't want to eat I can bring to work and usually find takers. Extra condiments are nice to have on hand in the work fridge too.

Yesterday I came home with untouched leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory - chicken alfredo, macaroni and cheese, beans and rice, and some kind of seafood taco, passionfruit lemonade, organic eggs, rolls, English muffins, cheddar cheese sticks, spinach, cucumbers, strawberries, all kinds of ice cream. And a giant ass box of Lucky Charms, which Captain Howdy and Bitsy are happy about.

I'm happy about it too, any money I don't have to spend on groceries will help me get me through those two weeks of August that I'm taking off for Oregon. Or at least pay for shit that I need now.

Have to buy some 2 x 4s and an angle grinder to finish my mew. DG has a sawsall that I can borrow, I already have a hand drill. Have to get my ass motivated to sell some things been sitting around that I don't need. I did manage to pull out the particle board from the floor, and unscrew the windowpanes to show DG, so there's that.

Why is it scary af to ask for help from people I know are cool with helping me? Don't answer that, I already know.

Stayed up until 3, then slept past noon, fuck yeah. First time my body hasn't ached something awful.

Did a fat lot of nothing most of the day, rewatching GoT and fucking around on the interwebs. Got all the usual chores done towards the evening, even some light lifting and list writing.

Trying not to stress the fuck out about getting the mews done. And the trip to pdx. And the canoe tour immediately after. And FWRA in September. Goddamn it crow, stop stressing yourself out.

Okay so after kind of losing my schitt last week, things are getting better as far as headspace. Despite my body aching in that third shift exhaustion kind of way.

Even with the goddamn well pump checking out yet again this weekend, even with the Tuesday program I couldn't do because nobody bothered to get Nova's anklets on over the weekend. Guess when nothing of note gets done? Sigh.

Monday I brought French toast casserole and brownies like a goddamn boss. I also brought my leather daddy hat and reprimanded Joe Nathan for not texting me happy father's day for the lulz. New volunteer helped out on grounds, as did Chelsey's bf, so that didn't suck. Somehow I stayed up too late Monday night again, and was hurting the following morning.

I have to not do that on Tuesday/Wednesday. Need to try doing that list of things to get done before interwebs and see how that goes.

Tuesday actually did not suck. David G brought in French toast casserole after reading the recipe on Linda's facebook haha - I put mine back in the fridge and said nothing about it, he didn't need to know. I think his turned out better anyway. George and Suzanne gave me a pair of feather earrings that they got when visiting the tribe out west, which made me feel something humble and nice. Just when I think nobody gives a goddamn. I need to keep giving a goddamn and ignore the fuckery around me.

Speaking of fuckery, I have the awful suspicion that Dana is going to jerk me and possibly Chelsey around on giving the okay to FWRA for scholarships. She knows DP already fucked me over on last year's conference and that I could really use the help. If she makes up excuses why, I'm going to call her out on it. She couldn't be supportive of me or happy for me when I attended last year, even though it directly benefitted the organization. She was just pissed that she didn't get to go, and pouted every time the subject came up.

Jealousy is an ugly, ugly thing. It colors so much of what she does with other people and things in her life, too. Man I need to stay on the lookout of anything in my own behavior that might involve jealousy. Shit is poison.

In decent news, I talked to my dad about fixing the doors and window on the mews; he's going to write up some directions for me to walk me through - he may also find a way to get back down here to help me out. My dad is awesome like that.

Also makes me feel something humble and nice. Awesome also is my bro buying my plane tix out to pdx for a visit in August. Finally picked out some goddamn dates, gonna do it. Will feel good to get my head out of this place for a while. Taking off two weeks this time, instead of the usual 5 days. I really need to reset my head as far as the tunnel vision of eat breathe sleep birds.

This trip may also have the side benefit of giving my coworkers a wakeup call of how things run when I'm not around to oil the machine. Or maybe not. I kind of hope they get it though. Tired as fuck of being taken for granted.

Took a walk through the mangroves with C. after work Tuesday. Storm coming in, tide low, hints of red tide. Random goofy ass bedbirds wandering around. Homecrows all over the place. Freckles and Speckles the storks wandering around working the Catholic guilt like they don't have to because they know I'm a fool for them. Birds make it all worth it. Hoping I'm going to have my shit together by mid August so I can get my hawk on ASAP. I hope I get this shit down. I hope I'll be decent at it and make my falconry peeps proud.

I am excited and honestly scared in equal proportions.

I wish it wasn't $250 for neurofeedback to try and rewire my brain to bust through the bullshit that always comes up every time I try to do something worthwhile.

Seriously though, I'm not done.